I can remember first dating someone. In my younger days I would call them my girlfriend or simply my friend. When asked by people I’d say, “We’re just kicking it.” I did not see past the moment. I did not think of them in any other form than what I needed them to be at that time. As I’ve matured, I now understand the significance of a salutation. My response is quite different when asked about my partner and or the nature of our relationship. When I introduce her to my family, my friends, my co-workers, and associates I encompass all that she is to me so that they acknowledge her significance as well. “Hello everyone, this is my partner. I’d like to introduce you all to the love of my life.” I speak love when I introduce her to the world. I smile, show affection and connection when presenting her to people. I do this to honor her being. I do this show the world just how important she is to me. I do this to speak love into the universe in the name of our love. "Oh, we are in the midst of building a wonderful life."
What is your take on a salutation?
Salutations are situation appropriate and also should be in line with your current relationship. My question is in regards to a commiteed relationship. If you are not properly introduced by your partner/mate would you find it disrespectful? I do believe as we mature and truly understand 'relationships' a certain importance is placed on how you introduce the person you're with.
Salutations are situation appropriate and also should be in line with your current relationship. My question is in regards to a commiteed relationship. If you are not properly introduced by your partner/mate would you find it disrespectful? I do believe as we mature and truly understand 'relationships' a certain importance is placed on how you introduce the person you're with.
4 comments:
Interesting question, B. To me, salutations are important and wonderful to hear...though it certainly depends on the person and situation.
As you stated, back in the day you might have said you were 'just kicking it' with someone. If that's all it was, then I'd think it was okay to leave it at "my friend" (hopefully both parties know that's all it is). If you believe it's more than friendship and choose to call someone your girlfriend, that should be "agreed" upon as well before an introduction in that manner. Say someone you're 'just kicking it' with introduces you to her friends as her girlfriend. Oooh- that might cause a little friction if that wasn't your perception of the situation. ;-) Know the deal!
In our more mature years I would guess that salutations are just as important. In a committed, monogamous relationship I would expect to be more than just "Nikki" during certain introductions, however, sometimes the salutation doesn't have to be verbal. Like you said, it can be "told" through an affectionate gesture just as easily. Body language speaks volumes! Still, I would think that a salutation isn't always necessary either...just depends on the moment-where we are and to whom we're talking.
Blessings, Nikki & BJ...
I'm pulling up my chair to enjoy this discussion!
My earlier comment through Facebook mail, on this topic, spoke to a greeting and introduction of sorts between two parties and the potential that the attitudes that we have toward how our initial interaction with others can impact our lives.
Now in regards to acknowledging our significant others, brings an even more interesting layer of discussion. I find that how we not only address our mates as well as introduce them, can be a silently advertent tool of reinforcement and assurance. As women, we love to hear nice things, especially if they are about us. So to be called, "The Love of your Life", "Significant Other", "Partner", etc...are all salutations that carry triple benefits for the introducer as well as the person being introduced. Personally, something that I think is not only necessary but virtuous, are small innoccent gestures, that can be exchanged between two people, who are the only ones that know their meaning. For instance, we speak our own language and dialect, and although most people are catching on, no one has the full vocabulary key as of yet.
As always, I enjoy fruitful conversation with like minded people. Azuelo! (Thank You) May the sun continue to rise and set upon your beautiful love. Indeed
Yahminah
It honestly depends on the situation for me. Typically, we both address each other as either wife or partner. However, in some situations (i.e., office events, etc.), the salutation may be different. I'm completely OUT at my workplace, but my partner is not, and I have no problem with that at all. I allow her the freedom to deal with that in whatever way makes her most comfortable. Whether we like it or not, we live in a world where we are not always accepted with open arms. As it pertains to work, I only show up to collect the biggest check I can possibly collect. If exposing my true self may prohibit me from advancing and collecting the biggest check, then I may refrain. Fortunately, my job has accepted me in my true form, but I do understand that is not always the case. If I'm introduced as a "friend" at an office party, that in no way makes me feel any less significant in my partner's life. She shows me in more ways than I can state how important I am to her, so for me, a salutation is rather minor.:) By the way, I love your topics, B, and I love reading all the comments! Keep em coming!:) I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE talking!:)
Everybody has such great ideas. I received the info from Doc. and can tell that its cool. YahMinah thanks for sharing the info to us. Bj the page rocks honey. My fiance' and I have been together for over 2 years and she's it for me. So I'm always proud to introduce her as my wife, which gets a couple of raised eyebrows by the way.
But I can say that in certain arenas where I know that people will frown upon my lifestyle, I still call her my partner. Hey you must admit, if the hetros can do it, we should be free to do the same.
That's my 3 cents worth :)
Michelle
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